How to clear your head at night so you can (finally!) get some sleep

Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy when it comes to getting a good night's sleep. No matter how comfy the pajamas or plush the mattress, our own mind can sabotage our slumber. Just as you’re about to drift off, a hundred thoughts start to race through your mind. Don’t forget to make that dental appointment!  Did I say something weird in that meeting today? 

Maybe it’s a mistake you made at work or something you said to your partner that you wish you could take back — now playing in a loop in your head. The more you try to quiet your thoughts and settle down for a snooze, the more they clamor for your attention. The result: Tossing and turning all night and feeling cranky and exhausted the next day. 

You may think hushing your inner monologue is the key to getting some rest, but experts say attempting to push thoughts out of your head may make the situation worse. "When you think, 'Gosh, if I have a bad thought tonight, I'm not going to sleep,' it actually makes it harder to sleep," says Jared Minkel, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist and behavioral sleep medicine specialist in Providence, Rhode Island.

4 tips for clearing your mental decks for bed  

Instead of trying to put your thoughts on silent, experts say finding ways to confront them will help you put them to rest, clearing the way for a good night’s sleep. The next time your mental wheels won’t stop spinning long enough to fall asleep, try one of these tips.

1. Develop a bedtime routine. Having a set of activities you do every night starting a half hour before bedtime can signal your brain that it’s time to go into rest mode.¹ Since doomscrolling can expose you to stressful news that can send your thoughts spinning, it’s a good idea to switch off your cell phone and other electronic devices. Instead, meditate, read a relaxing book, listen to music, or take a warm bath.² 

2. Write it down. Worries, errands, or items for your to-do list that are easy to ignore during waking hours can take on weight at night. Instead of trying to carry all that around in your head, put them down — on paper — so you can pick them up where you left off in the morning.

“Keep a notepad by your bed and write down things that are on your mind,” Minkel says. “Then, when those thoughts start to repeat, you can say to yourself, ‘Okay, I think I got it all.’” Having that physical proof that you haven’t forgotten can be enough to allow you to relax, he says. “Your mind can begin to let go a bit and allow you to sleep.”

3. Do the shuffle. If you tend to replay events of the day over and over in your head at night, a technique called cognitive shuffling may help disrupt your mental loop. Choose a random word, like beam. Starting with the first letter, try to think of as many other words as you can that begin with the same letter, such as branch, bottle, or beach. Try to visualize each word as they come to you. When you run out of words, move on to the next letter in your original word. It’s believed that focusing on words that have no connection to each other can signal to your brain that it’s time to sleep.³ 

4. Give up on sleep. This sounds counterintuitive. After all, what you really want to do is snooze, but consider this: If you’re anxious about a major concern, say a medical diagnosis or a possible job loss, and you’ve managed to keep busy enough during the day to push those thoughts from your mind, they will likely spring back to life come bedtime.

“It can be harder because you might feel scared or angry, and strong emotions can interfere with sleep,” Minkel says. “Getting out of bed for 20 minutes can be helpful.” Go into another room and think about what’s going on. “Come up with a plan for getting extra support, decide who you’ll reach out to, and what your next steps will be,” Minkel says. “Then go back to bed.” Dealing directly with what’s stressing you out can help you quiet your mind enough to fall asleep. 

One technique that often gets overlooked is dealing with your bedtime issues during your waking hours. “We know that sleep problems can be addressed just as well during the day as they can during the night,” Minkel says. By consciously devoting time during the day to tasks like reviewing your to-do list, planning for an upcoming work meeting, or completing your errands, you can free up the time at night you would spend worrying about them. “If you're doing things during the day that are addressing your problems versus avoiding them, you put yourself in a better position to have a good night’s sleep,” Minkel says.

The next time your body is ready to call it a night, but your mind refuses to cooperate, these tips may help you start that mental shutdown routine so you can get the shut-eye you need.